Hamlet Challenge

I decided to try my hand at translating Hamlet’s soliloquy for fun….I tried to make it sound like Hammie was from 21st c Jersey.  I don’t think I should quit my day job 😉  Here’s what a real actor can do with it!

Jesus….Do I keep living? Should I stop? You gotta ask yourself these questions.  Is it better to keep going, to get up and face the bullshit of everyone around you, the obstacles, the sheer random crap that happens – should you fight back against that? Would that make it stop?  I mean, if I ended it, if I closed my eyes forever…If I said no to the pain, the problems that we all face….This is something I should want.  God, if I could just have the balls to kill myself. If I could “sleep” forever like some old poem. That’s it. If I slept like that, if I left the world behind, what would I see? What if something of me, of my personality survives? Think about that for a moment. What if?  I mean, ok, that’s scary shit. Those kind of thoughts are what make us so het up about living as long as we can!  Why else do we stand to have the snot kicked out of them by life? Why do we stand being fucked over, why do we stand heartbreak, injustice, asshole politicians….why do we put up with all of this if we’re not trying to hold onto something? All it takes is one well-placed blade and we can be away from all that crazy.

Who would go through this, and prolong it, if they weren’t trying to stay one step ahead of that darkness. It’s like a whole other place…the idea of whatever comes after. That big door, that blank screen. No one who goes in ever comes out. This scares me. I get why people would want to take the garbage they get here than bet it all on some unknown.  Guess that makes us cowards, huh? Any time some jackass gets up and talks a big deal, he’s always got the thought of that door in him, somewhere. That fear makes us start things and never finish, it makes us afraid to do things. Why race to the grave?
Hey – there’s Ophelia….
Babe…say a prayer for me, ok?

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